amazing...i think i wrote this a year back... and never posted it
It’s been almost close to 10 months since I last blogged.. well not techinically..i discovered a post which on my laptop written on the 24th of Now
Its been a while…switched jobs.In fact just joined my new job a few days back.I’m slowly learning the ropes .I’m the newbie,the fresher,the kid that’s constantly asking questions.From their eyes I know that they are sometimes surprised at my enthusiasm but still indulge me by answering my questions with utmost patience.They know the fire will die out soon and I will slowly find my feet and place in the organization.
But my new job is not what this post is about.Just saw a movie called the breakfast club about 5 misfits of different kinds who have to spend an entire day in detention and they are supposed to write and essay about who they are.Ok,Im no longer a lanky teenager but am just wondering how we…my generation define ourselves.
I look into myself .Does my job define me,my friends ,the people who I hang out with ,the places I go to. Do I cave in to the pressure to look a particular way,to dress a particular way …yes it happens even when ure 26.I think we never outgrow the whole feeling of competing against each other.When we’re older it becomes jobs and then we use our children by tom toming about their achievements around town.
When I passed out of B-school we were defined if not remembered for our take home salaries and organizations we were supposed to join. That defined our success and failure. As I grow older its not only about the 6 figure salary but also about the man you manage to snag or the number of men you have managed to snag!!
Its sad.. but true..i look into my closet and see clothes I once bought thinking they were nice but am too afraid to ever wear it again in public..The thing is none of us really understand the importance of being ourselves.We ride the wave like others do…Im guilty of it too.At the end of the day..its upto us.
Very few people have the courage.I envy them.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Thursday, August 30, 2007
True Love
Yesterday I called up an old friend of mine from college .She was telling me how TV deprived she was. The minute she said that she had just switched on the TV ..I began to rattle on about the new reality shop’Beauty and The Geek ‘and how ridiculously funny it was and how I was thinking including it in my regular TV viewing schedule of Wednesday on probation. Now that she was beginning to enter my world ,I began to asses what she wanted and how best I could help her out(known as the requirement gathering phase in the tech world)…like what time do you come home,what kind of shows do you watch. I was on a high..Exclaiming out…’Oh..Ugly Betty is on that time. It is a show worth catching,you will like it’. I finally felt like a consultant(that’s what a reasonable famous IT company has hired me to be!)And then without waiting for her reaction..without even stopping to breathe I started telling her excitedly about how my Wednesday evenings had become superb because of the shows lined up that evening. I went on to exclaim how Boston Legal was icing on the cake and how she haaas to watch it. Here was a field I knew something.I felt power,dominance,pride.It got me soo fired up.I didn’t want to stop .It was 11:55 and I think she had enough until I said…’oh..u if you wait for 5 minutes you can catch Scrubs!’ .She hung up.
I hung up and postponed my idea of sleeping to watch Scrubs.It was then that it hit me. I was in love … with cable television. You know you are in love with TV when
1. You set reminders on your phone of ure favorite show on your phone lest something unimportant and insignificant like your project’s deadline or picking up your best friend from the airport
2. You lie to your friends who want you to join them for dinner about having a stomach ache so that you can watch the season finale of ‘OC’
3. You postpone/cancel dinner plans so that you can watch E! News every weekday at 830 without any distraction
4. You stare at your watch while you are at work and wait till its 530 so that you can leave and are in time for Simpsons at 6.
5. All your conversations with friends are about reviewing recently premiered shows and convincing them to watch the show including sending reminders to them.
6. Your ego is severely bruised when someone callously makes remarks about your favorite show and you end up slamming the door in their face or hanging up on them and thinking to yourself that she/he is not worth knowing.
7. Everything about a TV show is personal. The characters, the situations, the villains
8. You decide to have a theme song like Ally Mcbeal.If it works for Ally,it should for you.
9. You cry incessantly when McDreamy breaks Meredith heart again and runs back to Addison!
10. When you are reading recaps of episodes of your favorite tv shows on Wikipedia that you have already watched in office.
11. When you begin to weave all your schedules of meeting friends/picking up groceries/paying your bills according to the TV schedule
12. The first thing you do after you move to a new city is to enquire about broadband connections and their speeds to start downloading sitcom episodes asap so that you can free yourself from the dictates of TV schedules and watch on your own time.
I was wondering how I became like this..I did escape the lure and magic of television all through school and college thanks to boarding school and hostels .I was glued to TV during vacations but then again what were vacations for.Even when I was working, thanks to night shifts I rarely saw the light of day let alone television. I think my infatuation began when I began to prepare for CAT in Trivandrum.But Ive realized that even 2 years in the tough rigors of a B-school have not made me forget my love. Actually it just helped it. I discovered the magic of torrents.p2p applications resulting in free downloads of sitcoms into my numb life .Suddenly I discovered a purpose in Bschool.There were many a night when I was up till wee hours of the morning watching episodes that I had just downloaded. My heart skips a beat,my hands start shaking every time a new season of Greys,or DHW starts. I still go weak in the knees and cry during the same scenes when I see a rerun of old favorite..I guess, this is what true love is all about.
I hung up and postponed my idea of sleeping to watch Scrubs.It was then that it hit me. I was in love … with cable television. You know you are in love with TV when
1. You set reminders on your phone of ure favorite show on your phone lest something unimportant and insignificant like your project’s deadline or picking up your best friend from the airport
2. You lie to your friends who want you to join them for dinner about having a stomach ache so that you can watch the season finale of ‘OC’
3. You postpone/cancel dinner plans so that you can watch E! News every weekday at 830 without any distraction
4. You stare at your watch while you are at work and wait till its 530 so that you can leave and are in time for Simpsons at 6.
5. All your conversations with friends are about reviewing recently premiered shows and convincing them to watch the show including sending reminders to them.
6. Your ego is severely bruised when someone callously makes remarks about your favorite show and you end up slamming the door in their face or hanging up on them and thinking to yourself that she/he is not worth knowing.
7. Everything about a TV show is personal. The characters, the situations, the villains
8. You decide to have a theme song like Ally Mcbeal.If it works for Ally,it should for you.
9. You cry incessantly when McDreamy breaks Meredith heart again and runs back to Addison!
10. When you are reading recaps of episodes of your favorite tv shows on Wikipedia that you have already watched in office.
11. When you begin to weave all your schedules of meeting friends/picking up groceries/paying your bills according to the TV schedule
12. The first thing you do after you move to a new city is to enquire about broadband connections and their speeds to start downloading sitcom episodes asap so that you can free yourself from the dictates of TV schedules and watch on your own time.
I was wondering how I became like this..I did escape the lure and magic of television all through school and college thanks to boarding school and hostels .I was glued to TV during vacations but then again what were vacations for.Even when I was working, thanks to night shifts I rarely saw the light of day let alone television. I think my infatuation began when I began to prepare for CAT in Trivandrum.But Ive realized that even 2 years in the tough rigors of a B-school have not made me forget my love. Actually it just helped it. I discovered the magic of torrents.p2p applications resulting in free downloads of sitcoms into my numb life .Suddenly I discovered a purpose in Bschool.There were many a night when I was up till wee hours of the morning watching episodes that I had just downloaded. My heart skips a beat,my hands start shaking every time a new season of Greys,or DHW starts. I still go weak in the knees and cry during the same scenes when I see a rerun of old favorite..I guess, this is what true love is all about.
Monday, August 20, 2007
the ‘late twenties’
It took a job to revive my blog! Since my last post, I earned an MBA degree, I joined an IT company, moved to Bangalore from Delhi, rented an apartment, became the proud owner of a fridge, and in 2 days moved to Hyderabad, Turned 26, wallowed in self pity because I officially moved to my ‘late twenties’, and well started travelling a lot more than I thought I would.
What is it about the ‘late twenties’ I wonder? Is it because I am no longer part of the attractive 22-24, fair, well educated ‘marriage market’ which leads me to believe that the only segment I now belong to is that of the ‘old maids’! Is it because I can no longer take my time with a prospective eligible bachelor and see how things go because time is running out. Is it because we realize that the idealism we had in our hearts to make a difference dies out as we suddenly become comfortable with our regular, routine jobs .Is it because of the pressures of society telling you that to have a healthy baby, it has to be before 30.Is is because whatever was termed as fun like partying seems boring, inane and sometimes pathetic all of a sudden. Is it because you start worrying about repayment of educational loans, money, investments the future and making a life. Is it because you start feeling a lot more insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
Does age have to do with everything? Maturity, Intelligence, Marriage, making babies..??
I guess I am just freaking out. But I thought that was part of being a teenager. Am I not supposed to be a calm and composed mature woman in my late 20’s .But I guess something’s never change…and I wonder how much of it can be changed with age
What is it about the ‘late twenties’ I wonder? Is it because I am no longer part of the attractive 22-24, fair, well educated ‘marriage market’ which leads me to believe that the only segment I now belong to is that of the ‘old maids’! Is it because I can no longer take my time with a prospective eligible bachelor and see how things go because time is running out. Is it because we realize that the idealism we had in our hearts to make a difference dies out as we suddenly become comfortable with our regular, routine jobs .Is it because of the pressures of society telling you that to have a healthy baby, it has to be before 30.Is is because whatever was termed as fun like partying seems boring, inane and sometimes pathetic all of a sudden. Is it because you start worrying about repayment of educational loans, money, investments the future and making a life. Is it because you start feeling a lot more insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
Does age have to do with everything? Maturity, Intelligence, Marriage, making babies..??
I guess I am just freaking out. But I thought that was part of being a teenager. Am I not supposed to be a calm and composed mature woman in my late 20’s .But I guess something’s never change…and I wonder how much of it can be changed with age
Monday, December 11, 2006
The day i became an extra with 5 lines!!
This is actually something from my old blog..when i read it now i feel kind of stupid but posting it here anyway :))
I can finally say that I was part of a movie and no ..no that of an extra.I had lines,I had a role,I had a character.It was around 6 in the evening Chatting with the guys as usual….about our fairly unproductive day. There was this groups of people from a reseaonably well known media school who had been shooting for days together lugging around lighting and camera equipment from pillar to post.We pitied them,laughed at them,abused them though secretly Im sure all of us were harbouring dreams of stardom,of bring waited hand and foot!and then she appeared..she fell on her knees..she begged that one of don the greasepaint and do a role coz an actor backed out. ‘Can anybody act here?’ everybody points towards me
She:Can you act..please please
Me: uhh…well.. How long will it take?Im not too good at stuff like this.Are there lines in Hindi?
What Im actually thinking : uhh.. 2nd best actress for Lady Windmere in school,a hazaar skits in school,joined college’s theatre group only to be disappointed by student politics..,envying/admiring madhu all my life for getting into NSD.Why did I even hesitate…
She: it will just take 15 mins,please please,please
Me: Isnt there anybody else to do this? I have work tommo you see
What I’m thinking: Id love to do this.I love theatre..how many times ive silently cribbed abt my curfew in blr and being alone in blr which prevent ned me from auditions and being part of madhu’s theatre group.how the hell did I end up doing an MBA..
She: If its not you ,then it will be
Me : …uhh (after carefully uhhing and aahing a hazaar time) uhhh..ok
What Im actually thinking: I size her up.She looks like she can act.lemme show my self that Im better!
She handed me a pink kurta and the scrip.I was suposed to play a reporter (the brief-- be overdramatic and act like Pooja bedi)
All I could think of was HAHA!…. me spilling cleavage and wearing a mini skirt topped with a fake accent!Would be tough!!:))Went over the lines..there was quite a bit to say(5 lines!!).. I had to interview this loud,flashy movie producer and ask him abt what he liked,disliked,his sexappeal(yeah I know!),his passion,and his armaan..all in that order ..ofcourse in full sentences with some more words here and there.After practicing my lines with A~ who was supposed to play my cameraman but later got cut because he was too tall!!(now that’s a first!) I was ready. I was introduced to the guy who I was supposed to interview and practiced.This guy was great!!It was only later I found out that he did professional theatre and ws doing this role as a favour to these students since he had taught them.The first thing he said was ‘you’re a natural,you should do more of this’!I was thrilled.Given that he was an actor and a drama teacher his words meant everything.My mind went back to my college days when madhu and I used to discuss theatre.well..i used to do more of the listening since she was the one living it.
The practice sessions went great! Didn’t screw up once! We were all set for the final shot. Pin drop silence. The director is watching the monitor,cameraperson calls out ‘rolling’ and then he yells out action
I start..Mr Prem Moolchandani. .thank you so much for taking time out for this interview,our viewers are going to love this.Bas kuch khus,khas,…uhh rapid fire questions…CUT!he yells out
My co-actor assures me that its ok,its natural..i try it again and the director okays the take!finally I can go!but I was wrong..they wanted to take the shot from soo many angles..welcome to the land of movies!2 hours later..I was done!i walked out of the set with a feeling of accomplishment,sense of achievement!It was most people would call a bit role..but to me it was so much more!I was an actual actress for 2 and a half hours!
I can finally say that I was part of a movie and no ..no that of an extra.I had lines,I had a role,I had a character.It was around 6 in the evening Chatting with the guys as usual….about our fairly unproductive day. There was this groups of people from a reseaonably well known media school who had been shooting for days together lugging around lighting and camera equipment from pillar to post.We pitied them,laughed at them,abused them though secretly Im sure all of us were harbouring dreams of stardom,of bring waited hand and foot!and then she appeared..she fell on her knees..she begged that one of don the greasepaint and do a role coz an actor backed out. ‘Can anybody act here?’ everybody points towards me
She:Can you act..please please
Me: uhh…well.. How long will it take?Im not too good at stuff like this.Are there lines in Hindi?
What Im actually thinking : uhh.. 2nd best actress for Lady Windmere in school,a hazaar skits in school,joined college’s theatre group only to be disappointed by student politics..,envying/admiring madhu all my life for getting into NSD.Why did I even hesitate…
She: it will just take 15 mins,please please,please
Me: Isnt there anybody else to do this? I have work tommo you see
What I’m thinking: Id love to do this.I love theatre..how many times ive silently cribbed abt my curfew in blr and being alone in blr which prevent ned me from auditions and being part of madhu’s theatre group.how the hell did I end up doing an MBA..
She: If its not you ,then it will be
Me : …uhh (after carefully uhhing and aahing a hazaar time) uhhh..ok
What Im actually thinking: I size her up.She looks like she can act.lemme show my self that Im better!
She handed me a pink kurta and the scrip.I was suposed to play a reporter (the brief-- be overdramatic and act like Pooja bedi)
All I could think of was HAHA!…. me spilling cleavage and wearing a mini skirt topped with a fake accent!Would be tough!!:))Went over the lines..there was quite a bit to say(5 lines!!).. I had to interview this loud,flashy movie producer and ask him abt what he liked,disliked,his sexappeal(yeah I know!),his passion,and his armaan..all in that order ..ofcourse in full sentences with some more words here and there.After practicing my lines with A~ who was supposed to play my cameraman but later got cut because he was too tall!!(now that’s a first!) I was ready. I was introduced to the guy who I was supposed to interview and practiced.This guy was great!!It was only later I found out that he did professional theatre and ws doing this role as a favour to these students since he had taught them.The first thing he said was ‘you’re a natural,you should do more of this’!I was thrilled.Given that he was an actor and a drama teacher his words meant everything.My mind went back to my college days when madhu and I used to discuss theatre.well..i used to do more of the listening since she was the one living it.
The practice sessions went great! Didn’t screw up once! We were all set for the final shot. Pin drop silence. The director is watching the monitor,cameraperson calls out ‘rolling’ and then he yells out action
I start..Mr Prem Moolchandani. .thank you so much for taking time out for this interview,our viewers are going to love this.Bas kuch khus,khas,…uhh rapid fire questions…CUT!he yells out
My co-actor assures me that its ok,its natural..i try it again and the director okays the take!finally I can go!but I was wrong..they wanted to take the shot from soo many angles..welcome to the land of movies!2 hours later..I was done!i walked out of the set with a feeling of accomplishment,sense of achievement!It was most people would call a bit role..but to me it was so much more!I was an actual actress for 2 and a half hours!
why did i create a blog?
I've asked soo many people to start a blog because i thought their blogs would be really interesting to read.I secretly harboured an intention to blog as well but as usual and as always laziness got the better of me!That Molu read my journal with my deepest darkest secrets(!!) in 7th std didnt motivate me either:) during my summers stint i did start a blog but 'a movie a day' activity came in the way.And besides I dont think i write very well either.And it isnt like i have to 'give to the world my thoughts'! though during summers i thought that was the reason.Of course my first 2 posts were anti delhi so now i guess at that point of time those were the thoughts i wanted to give to the world!
It seems ironic that at the fag end of my 2 year mba i start to blog when ideally i should have started to write it in the very beginning to write about 'my experiences',academic,cultural..or whatever...
But then again i have rarely done what' should be done'..barring a few exceptions and i guess thats how i became me and thats what I'm going to write about.
It seems ironic that at the fag end of my 2 year mba i start to blog when ideally i should have started to write it in the very beginning to write about 'my experiences',academic,cultural..or whatever...
But then again i have rarely done what' should be done'..barring a few exceptions and i guess thats how i became me and thats what I'm going to write about.
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