And the result...

The dreaded 2 week wait dragged on. We sat at home pretty much, ate good nutritious home cooked food, watched funny mallu movies and took it slow. I was super confident and beaming most of the time. Of course i googled every tiny symptom i had but did not obsess over it. I was quite happy with the way everything had panned out and of myself. The day came.. unfortunately on a Sunday so we knew we would get the results only on Monday. I was beaming from ear to ear when Sujatha took my blood. I was calm, reassured until monday came! I kept messaging Dr sheetal. * B kept messaging me until the news came in.. on my phone It was negative. I had 7 people around me talking to me and i had to continue mundane conversation so i could gather myself and get out of there. 
I was devastated... i got out work and went home.And thankfully *B came home in a  few minutes  I wept inconsolably in B's arms. We don't know what happened and things like this make you realize nothing is in your control.  You can't do anything about it .. just lean on each other for support,to cry, to crib, to question.  I am not sure what the future holds for us now . But one thing I'm sure of I won't let it bog me down. I will get past it, move ahead (preferably with a smile!) to face whatever the future  has in store for us.

ET Day

For the last few years of my life ET was always the adorable alien from Steven Spielberg's ET :) In the world of IVF its a little different. The embryo transfer is sorta like the Final Exam or the Board Exam! This is what it all has been leading too. I had to skip a month as my cycle got  a little messed up with the dates so May 7th it was. I thought that the hard part was over... but like everything in IVF .. nothing is what it seems!the injections and vaginal progesterone pills raised their ugly head again so the jabs are back!But during  a FET (Frozen embryo Transfer)  i think its a lot easier to deal than a full fledged one!The days leading up to ET i was strangely not nervous. I swayed from calm to excited and when the D Day had come i was determined to be the first one in the OR. I am competitive but i have never competed with 'how full is your bladder' sorta thing. We were 3 or 4 of us waiting and Sujatha said out loudly. whoever's bladder's full goes in!! I pride myself on my reasonably decent bowel movements so i shoved my hand up and called out to her! Mine's full... i think(i muttered the 'I think 'slowly to myself) but damn! mine wasn't and i started to get a little paranoid. It was only after Dr Sheetal and Dr Ritu came and reassured me not to worry did i feel myself calm down.. that and * B's constant pushing me to finish a whole  bottle of water!

so my turn came and Dr Sheetal and I were in the corridor. It almost felt like i was about to enter the CAT exam hall  and in a second i was let in. I knew the drill by now. Legs in the wide stirrups as i was strapped together for Dr G to do his magic and then the cinematic experience began. The lights were dimmed out and only the ultrasound was visible to me. Dr Sheetal was right next to me pointing at the monitor  showing me how the lil embryos were floating into my uterus. It was surreal seriously and then in a couple of minutes.. she was like.. Its done! I was almost in shock!.. What!!..  So fast! I heaved myself up and thanked everyone inside. I was beaming from ear to ear(not sure why) and as Dr sheetal walked me out and i began to thank her .. she put her arm on my shoulder and said ' All i want is for us to see a postive for you'!

I'm in the dreaded 2 week wait now and i dont know what the outcome will be but I am incredibly thankful to the stellar team at Rotunda- Dr Gautam, Dr sheetal and Dr ritu and of course Nurse brigade of Sujatha, Bismillah and Reshma and of course Ramona and Miuskaan

Ive begin to realize that nothing is in my hands now.. Its all up to the folks above!Till then i cross my fingers, enjoy  a mallu movie, and WAIT!!